X marks the spot


16 March, 2018

Striving toward inner balance to help create and enjoy your own reality

Great title, I just need to write the post. This shouldn't be too difficult as I am already enjoying creating my own reality. Actually, I am continuously creating many realities. You may call this 'seeing things from differing points of view'. Currently, I am enjoying a harmony of realities including other peoples.

Take care and have fun

Be aware that this post is a 'work in progress' and by no means finished.

First of all, please allow me to explain what I actually mean by the words I selected in the title.

Inner balance.
In times of great stress and danger, people have described an inner balance, an inner calmness, where perhaps time has slowed down and they were able to do something astonishing with absolute confidence.

Hopefully, you can remember a time in your life where you surprised yourself with how confidently and calmly you did something that you believed was beyond your capability.

Perhaps you have a job or hobby, an aspect of which is repetitive. When performing this task you occasionally or often enter a state of 'flow' where you perform flawlessly, with calmness and serenity.

Many people use meditation to enter this state of inner balance. Either by relaxing and enjoying a gentle calmness or by being highly aware of their surroundings or their breathing or of sounds or of sensations. The dynamic range of 'inner balance' is vast.

Personally, I can often achieve an inner balance by writing, mindful meditation, driving, washing the dishes or my car and my motorbike. Cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming and riding my motorcycle are things that I do regularly that enable me to enter a state of inner balance.

I once watched Ayrton Senna describe an 'inner balance' he experienced during a Formula One race at Monaco. He described it as a flow. A hyper awareness of what his vehicle was doing and going to do along with his competitors. Basically, with calmness and 'inner balance' he just overtook everyone. This was on a track that is famous for being very difficult to overtake on.

I hope I have managed to convey the general idea of what I mean by the two words 'inner balance'. This inner balance can be achieved in a variety of environments, to laying down on your bed and not moving, to performing a simple task, to performing a very demanding task such as motor racing.

Just reading these words is not going to achieve anything. You need to stop and think for yourself. Have you ever achieved this 'inner balance'? If you have only done it once, you ought to reflect upon the 'feeling' and re-live the experience in your mind. Not just once but often.

The task here is to practice 'inner balance' several times each day. This could be perceived as a chore or as a luxury. Currently, I am pressing keys on a keyboard. I am sat down. My girlfriend is playing some silly game on her laptop. The cat is purring next to her. A sink full of dirty dishes are screaming for my attention. Is that my current reality? No, I am currently enjoying a state of inner balance. That is how I have chosen to perceive my current reality.

Achieving 'inner balance' is not a competition. Absolute inner balance is not the goal either. Neither is achieving your 'best' inner balance ever. Duration is not the goal, I can stop writing whenever I choose without guilt or feeling of failure. The aim is to simply practise for a moment or two, as often as you see fit. Depending upon your current circumstances this may be easy, difficult or practically impossible. I humbly suggest you start practicing inner balance in an environment that you feel is probably the easiest.

The key words in the above paragraph are 'reasonable' and 'practise'. The aim or goal is to simply regularly practise attempting to achieve a reasonable inner balance. There is no success or failure. There is no point to recording how often you practise or how often you achieve a reasonable inner balance. However, you are you and you have freewill. If you wish to keep records or write an APP, then do so. It is your choice, there is always a choice.

In choosing to use the word 'striving' I do imply that effort is needed. However, one or two of my mentors would argue that you must not strive in this. So who is right? Well they are both correct and so am I. You need to make a choice. Do you want to create and enjoy your own realities? Do you believe you can? Do you believe that this is possible or that I am doing it? Don't concern yourself with that yet. Do you believe that regularly practising to achieve an 'inner balance' is of any value to you whatsoever? The only effort you need expend is in whether or not regularly experiencing an inner balance is a luxury to enjoy or a chore to endure?

Feel free to ponder this at length. Once you have chosen to believe that it is a luxury, then your 'striving' is at an end. You will simply regularly enjoy the luxury of practising. Should you choose to believe that this is a chore, then your 'striving' will continue.

What is right for you is right for you. Chore or luxury, the choice is yours. Strive or enjoy. The reality of whether you practise inner balance as a chore or luxury is an example of creating your own reality.

I feel that I have given you a great deal to think about. I have spent the entirety of this time in a state of inner balance. I didn't strive to do this, I just allowed it to happen. I will cease writing shortly for an unknown and unknowable period of time. I really do have a sink full of dirty crockery to clean. Now, is this a chore or another opportunity to allow myself the luxury of enjoying an inner balance, a flow of consciousness where I just wash the dishes? Ultimately, the dishes will be cleaned and I really don't know how I will perceive the reality of washing the dishes. I know only this, I won't condemn myself to only experiencing the reality of cleaning the dishes as a chore. I am open to the possibility that I will enjoy a state of reasonable inner balance whilst cleaning our used crockery.

Until next time, as always - you take care.

I enjoyed a harmony of realities whilst cleaning a weeks worth of dirty dishes. I had many trains of thought whilst 'washing the pots'. Many focused on the times during the week when my inner balance was lost and I was upset, angry or annoyed. These were all at work over matters so trivial that it is quite amusing to recall them. I won't try to do better. Yoda tells us that there is no try, just do or do not. As I become frustrated or angered I will just accept the emotion. Simply sample the emotion and enjoy the reality that is revealed to me. Another lesson to be experienced. My inner balance might remain intact or it might not. Only time will reveal this to me, not thought or worry or imagination, just time.

As I write this I recall several instances of annoyance over politicians actions and the reaction of reporters and TV presenters. This annoyance completely destroying my inner balance. This is understandable but not necessary. As I have made a choice to enjoy maintaining an inner balance, I will continue to do so whilst the completely unbalanced attempt to unbalance everybody else. This is another example of choosing to create my own reality. Once again, I have chosen an enjoyable reality, one where I am free to enjoy life and to sample experiences as I wish too.

I have changed the reality of dreading a nuclear exchange to a reality where I look forward to experiencing how this 'external situation' develops. I have exchanged a dreadful reality for an interesting reality. In this way I am creating a harmony of realities of my own choosing. Rather than being swept along on an emotional roller coaster by 'external events', politicians and significant others.

My thoughts now are to the coming week at work, should I find myself maintaining an inner balance throughout the week, will my colleagues notice? How will they experience me? As I change my reality, do I change theirs? I have no concerns whatsoever. My harmony of enjoyable realities will no doubt sit well with their own.

You take care and no doubt I shall write more later. Feel free to contact me with anything you wish to share. davidwatkinson1@hotmail.co.uk remembering that electronic communication is not secure.

Well, that was an interesting week. I maintained an inner balance Monday and Tuesday, which felt both easy and natural. Wednesday and Thursday my inner monkey rampaged a little bit. Friday was lining up to be a disaster. Thursday night I was imagining how annoying Friday was going to be. Then I made two decisions. One was to enjoy Thursday night, so I did. The other was to enjoy Friday, so I did. On Friday my monkey made one harsh comment which I regretted before completing the sentence. I didn't apologise but I did make up for it, in my mind, with kind deeds, words, actions and attentiveness. This fully restored my inner balance and my monkey feels foolish rather than witty, clever and powerful. This is an important step for me. I thought my power came from having an inner 800lb gorilla instead of an inner cappuccino monkey like most people. Power has shifted from my inner monkey to my inner human. I believe that this will help tremendously in maintaining an inner balance next week. As always time reveals all at her own pace and the universe supplies a never ending range of 'lessons' for us all to sample and experience. Be seeing you.


Well the universe took up my challenge and sent a diverse range of 'lessons' my way. One of my 'favourites' was a mouse eating my pasta and creating an utter mess in my dried food cupboard. Tidying that led to a shelf collapse, dropping flour, salt and sugar onto my carpet and smashing a highly valued plate that cannot be replaced. It also delayed my evening meal by one hour. As this was happening, the clocks went forward one hour. The universe is not without a sense of humour.

Anyway, unbelievably or believably, lots more things happened and didn't happen. Lots and lots. Too many to list. However, my inner balance maintained itself all week.

Today, coincidentally, is 30th March 2018 and I was born on 30th March 1969. On my birthday I generally review my life and decide what has gone wrong and what I should be doing. Well, a great deal of stuff has happened and a far greater amount of stuff has not happened. That is it really. There is no success and no failure.

You might guess that I don't sit well in society. Well, no I don't. However, society is what it is. A mixture of things happening and not happening. So be it.

The two words that define my personal birthday review are 'best' and 'success'. First of all I am changing out the word 'best' for reasonable. I don't need the best car, best house or best watch or best clothes or best shoes or best life. A reasonable one is far more enjoyable and engaging. Second, 'success'. What a word 'success' is. Forget about it. Just decide what experiences you would like to sample and be open to them happening. You could consider improving the odds of sampling these experiences in any reasonable way possible or not. The universe will provide you with a great many experiences regardless.

My IQ is sufficiently high that I can do anything - according to Jordan P Peterson. He is essentially correct. I am and have been doing for 49 years.

The pay off for having a reasonable understanding or feel for what I write about can be summed up in just two words. These two words are most definitely not 'best' and success'. The two words you will own are 'power' and 'confidence'.

What a gift I have given myself on my 49th birthday. Power and confidence, all born from having an inner balance achieved by doing what I wrote about in my trilogy of books one year or so ago. (Today of all days and for the first time, all three books are free.)

Power and confidence, is what I have gained. Recall a time when your power and confidence peaked. Well, you can have that all the time. The peak of your past will be the low of your future.

But what have I lost?

Two things would be good, for balance. :-)

One is fear, the other is time. I should have been taught all this at school when I was 8, 12, 15, 17 & 20

Priests should teach it as part of the preliminary talks you get before traditional Christian marriage and Judges should teach it before the trial starts. Prisons should excel at teaching it.

Could have, should have and would have. The future is yet unwritten and the past is as we remember it.

I am going to spend a few minutes thinking of my experiences with a very strong female character, my friends mum, Sheila. I will share a few things with you first. She was a prison officer and could project power and confidence with apparent ease. She made friends easily but could easily over power many with the sheer force of her will. I liked her. My favourite was, as a child she saw a big house. Five bedrooms with three 'bathrooms'. She decided, as a young girl, that she was going to live there and have lots of children. She did and it was her first and only home.

Thank you